By Private Eye Political Correspondent Noah Surprise.

There was widespread shock across Britain today that the £12 billion of welfare cuts promised in the Tory election manifesto would turn out to be £12 billion of cuts to the welfare budget.

“We definitely didn’t think these 12 billion worth of cuts would involve people like us,” said one first-time Tory voter, having her child tax credits halved.

“We thought it would only affect those wretched people on those awful benefit shows on Channel 4.” “We feel utterly betrayed by the Tories,” said another father, who is having his family working tax credits slashed.

“Why didn’t Osborne say these 12 billion worth of cuts would affect me? I naturally assumed it would hit people in the North, guests on the Jeremy Kyle show and muslims. That’s why I voted Tory.”

George Osborne has insisted he’d worked hard to ensure that the cuts to benefits were spread evenly between those people most likely to vote Labour and those most likely to vote Lib Dem.

Courtesy of Robert Livingstone

See also:

Budget 2015: cuts to make Daily Mail readers wince, but not just yet

The budget: from trickle-down to falling down, whilst holding hands with Herbert Spencer

And finally, a timely reminder of Martin Niemöller’s words on the ultimately self-destructive complicity of bystander apathy, because despots never simply attack and persecute the group of your choosing: