Ice Sculptures Against Child Poverty

In a stunning reversal of fortune for Boris Johnson, Ice Sculptures up and down the country have broken with convention to condemn his policies. Anonymous Bradford Child Ice Sculpture Elizabeth spoke out about her loss of her parents in a Climate Change inspired heat wave as well as her name loss when a major Movie Studio objected to her being called “Elsa”.

Elizabeth explained: I was in the papers when I was orphaned. My mum and dad were working on a zero hour contract cooling sushi for executives in Paris. There was a heatwave on a non-contract day. They visited a Famous Film Studio Theme Park and were served with an injunction against using my name. We lost our refrigerator apartment and in a week mum and dad melted in the hottest June on record. I would not have been made a homeless orphan if Boris Johnson had just stood up for me. Instead he offered me a job cooling whiskies at next year’s Party Conference.

Traditionally, Ice Sculptures have been supporters of the Gangster Party but, increasingly, they are coming out against the Gangster Party. Increasing Child Poverty and Climate Change have combined to end the relationship with the Gangster Party.

Speaking on behalf of European Ice Sculptures, who do not want to be identified for fear of retaliation, Elizabeth said, Ice Sculptures used to support the Gangster Party automatically. We all believed in being cold. But it all changed in 2010. The smell of brimstone just keeps percolating up. You cannot go anywhere without smelling damnation. And the heat keeps rising. Ice Sculptures have never lived very long in the past but our lives are being cut shorter and shorter. I know of families where all the children have melted in a single day. All because of Climate Change. And nobody is allowed to talk about it.

Unlike the Gangster Party, Ice Sculptures are worried about the horrifying rise in Child Poverty. There were 4.1 million children living in poverty in the UK in 2017-18. That’s 30 per cent of children, or nine in a classroom of 30 and this is expected to be 5.2 million children by 2022.

Elizabeth began to break down crying but her tears froze on her face. It is as though the Gangster Party care as little about Real Children as they care about Ice Sculpture Children. At least Ice Sculpture Children know they are going to be quickly orphaned. It is as though they want to destroy an entire generation of Real Children because they can. It is the smell of brimstone.

Elizabeth tried to put a humorous spin on her conversation but her voice falters when she turned to a brown envelope. Like most Ice Sculptures of her Generation, Elizabeth is made from Privatised Water. In order to ensure her younger sister can remain in childcare, Elizabeth is going to be transformed into a cistern full of water. She expects to be flushed away before the Election. This has been the final straw for Ice Sculptures up and down the Country who are now coming out and openly campaigning against Boris and the Gangsters.

Sadly, Ice Sculptures are unable to vote in Elections because they are just water. Apart from appearing on the streets of Bradford or under the hot lights of a television studio, there is little they can do to change the course of an election that will decide the future of Ice Sculptures for generations. Oh, and real children.


Picture: Bradford Child Ice Sculpture by Ice artists at and In Your Eye

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